So I have been texting and Facebooking my friends in England talking trash about the big World Cup soccer game between England and the USA. This has not been easy. Honestly, the only thing I know about soccer is that you kick the ball around and David Beckham is really hot. It is hard to goad the other team when you don't know what you are talking about. I can't come up with much more than "I know you are but what am I."
So I am forced to draw upon the things I have learned from my son's 2nd and 3rd grade soccer team.
First of all, according to DreadHead Sports rules, I shouldn't be talking trash at all. As a fan, I am supposed to cheer for both teams. Now you understand the title of this blog post. I also shouldn't cheer for my favorite player (like "Go Landon Donovan - take you shirt off!) but instead have something nice to say about all the players (like "It's okay Robert Green, I'd still go to a pub with you any day!")
They didn't show the sidelines much, but I hope both teams had plenty of water on hand. Two twenty minute halves is a long time for those guys to be out there. Also, I hope their moms brought good healthy snacks. And no, a chewy granola bar and fruit roll-ups are not considered healthy. I want to see some fresh fruit and some almonds for protein.
Finally, I don't want any of my English friends to talk bad about their goalie who was apparently playing with a bug in the grass when the USA team made their only goal. This happens all the time in our league. It sometimes gets boring at the goal all by yourself. It is easy to get distracted by clouds that look like horses and daydreaming in general. I'm sure the little Bobby feels just awful about his mistake. We want to encourage him so his self esteem is not damaged.
"Bobby, you are an excellent goal keeper. Follow your dreams and keep working hard."
Hope everyone enjoys their pizza party after the game. You are all winners and should all get a trophy.